As the recent flare-ups in the presidential campaign have shown, America's still pretty messed up when it comes to race. Even though we're not naive enough to think such problems can be fixed by a blog post, we'd like to do our thang to bridge the divide.
That's right, like Pepe Le Pew, we're lovers, not fighters. Ergo, we'd like to tell you boys who want to be lovers a few things you've been saying to the sisters that you shouldn't.
We can't tell you the right thing to say, but Jennifer Fields and Alexis Stodghill --- two African-American women from the office who date all colors of the rainbow -- are about to school the men of this world (white, black, Asian and Inuit) on the worst things you can say to a black woman.
This advice won't help you get a date with Beyoncé Knowles or Kelly Rowland, but at least you won't get a drink thrown in your face.
10. "I was raised by black people." (If your nanny or butler was black when you were growing up, you do not pass as an honorary black person.)
9. "Black women are so sexy." (You may think this is a compliment, but it's just another form of stereotyping or fetishizing African-American women.)
8. "Can I touch your hair?" (Don't ask anything about the hair, or whether you can touch it. Such an exchange will never end well.)
7. "I only date black women." (You think you're going to impress her because you're down, but saying that just makes it seem like black women are a "type.")
6. "You're the black Audrey Hepburn." (Don't tell a women she's the black version of a particular white woman. Men do not say to a white woman, "You're the white Condoleezza Rice.")
5. "I don't see any difference between the races." (You may think you're Ghandi, but you're not.)
4. "It's not like you're the first black woman I've dated." (Yeah, that comes off as creepy fetishizing, too.)
3. "You look like En Vogue." (It's never a smart idea to compare one woman to a group of women who all look very different, no matter their color.)
2. "Black women are so much cooler with sex than white women." (If you think implying black women are looser than white women is gonna get you some, you're wrong.)
1. "I'm voting for Obama." (Millions of people are voting for Obama. It doesn't make you that cool.)
Are there other things that should never be said? Let us know.
Also check out..Reasons Why a Woman Won't Commit and Most Beautiful Black and White Photography
this is so stupid.
ReplyDeletewhat are the things black girls shouldn't say to white guys? she couldn't believe that i dated black girls in the past, and she asked ME about it... still, i guess i pulled a no-no; i just had to touch her wicked hair
ReplyDeleteYou've GOT to be kidding, I'm really tired of blacks being able to say what ever they want to anybody but whites are suppose to walk on eggshells around them so we don't hurt their precious feelings. White people have feelings too and the right to freedom of speach as well. The N word thing is the biggest farse on the planet, they can say a word that white people can't? I thought they were interested in equallity, what's so equal about that? And don't give me that white people don't understand where black people are coming form because that is just pure BS.
ReplyDeleteWhat a crock!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the person who wrote last comment. American Constitution says that all people are equal in America, but its still about black and white. No disrespect, but black people are the biggest rasists......just an example...there are black comunities where white people are not allowed, black colleges where black people not allowed......you walk through a black neighborhood you automaticaly asking for trouble. Or how about BET there is no White Entertainment Television. If there was they would be called racists. How about black comediants talk all that crap about white people and other races and it's ok, but if a white person makes a joke about black person he is a racist. And how about black clubs where they wont allow white people.....People need to grow up and not live in the past.......But if you want to look at the past it was your own people that sold you or traded you things to white people....but nobody remembers or looks at that because it's realy easy to blame white people.....I like diversity and hate racism...you can't judge the whole nation by one person........So you need to grow up it's 21st century.........I don't buy all that BS about things you can't say to black woman, only someone that thinks highly of their own race and disrespects the others will get offended.
ReplyDelete"I don't have a job". Absolute no-no.
ReplyDelete10. "I was raised by black people."
ReplyDelete*There's nothing wrong with saying this. It means that you can 'sympathize' with the race in general. Keep in mind It's alot harder to 'empathize.
9. "Black women are so sexy."
*This is OK to say.Trust Me. Most women LOVE to called sexy no matter the race.
8. "Can I touch your hair?"
*Depends.Can you touch my hair? As long as your hand's are clean. Black hair is very unique. Especially when the hair is REAL hair not weaves. I've been asked by many people can they touch my hair. I see it as a compliment. For more BLACK HAIR info check out the movie 'Good Hair' by Chris Rock. Very funny and enlightening.
7. "I only date black women".
*OK. Some people have preferences.In fact I think it's human nature to have preferences.
I only date educated men. There is nothing wrong with have a preference.
6. "You're the black Audrey Hepburn." Don't tell a women she's the black version of a particular white woman. Men do not say to a white woman, "You're the white Condoleezza Rice."
*I'm not sure any woman wants to be compared to another women.
However, it would be so funny to see someone calling a white woman Condoleezza Rice!
5. "I don't see any difference between the races."
(You may think you're Ghandi, but you're not.)
*When it get's down to what is important there really is no difference .As people we want the same things: Love, A Life Partner, Family, Friends, Good Health, A home, To feel Safe, To be Loved. My Blood is red. So is yours.
4. "It's not like you're the first black woman I've dated."
(Yeah, that comes off as creepy fetishizing, too.)
*This one may get you a smack or a 'look'. Why? Because of the tone. Repeat the sentence to yourself. Now. Doesn't that sound condescending?
3. "You look like En Vogue."
(It's never a smart idea to compare one woman to a group of women who all look very different, no matter their color.)
*This question is self-explanatory. No woman wants to be compared to a group of women.
2. "Black women are so much cooler with sex than white women." (If you think implying black women are looser than white women is gonna get you some, you're wrong.)
*Well that's someone's opinion.
If you say this statement to a any woman she may feel offended.
A Black Woman may say 'What are you trying to say?'
a White Woman may say 'What! I'm not good in bed?
etc, etc, etc. Just don't say this.
When it comes to sex it depends on the person. No matter what race.
1. "I'm voting for Obama."
(Millions of people are voting for Obama.
It doesn't make you that cool.)
*So did I and millions of people.I'm still waiting to see 'Changes'.
Everytime I see the President and First Family they are on a vacation!
Don't say you are voting (voted) for Obama. It would make you sound stupid and / or like you want to ruin the country and create the next great depression.
ReplyDelete^^Really!? Oh wow Mr. Psychic man! Tell us what other impossible-to-predict things Mr. Obama will surely do! (Sarcasm. My apologies.)
ReplyDeleteoh please - White Entertainment Television is every other channel - so don't start the BET thing....you have FOX News!!!! Anyways other than that I agree that Black people are really racist YES I said it....we can be racist against whites and blacks...White people can say whatever they want to say and should stick to it if you say it - don't show any fear and you will find we probably don't care much about what you say....and coming for a Black Independent former Republican - If the republican party had been more "christian" and inclusive I would still be a republican - but they were hateful and shameful in the last election...i was embarrased..and then they put Sarah Palin on the ticket and I had to depart...soooo Obama should not be in the white house but republicans put him there ...had to throw that part in!!
ReplyDelete